Over the past few years I have decided to pick my schooling over a social life, and while I have no regrets of this because I have seen a great improvement in my grades and my GPA, I find myself lacking in human connections.
A few years ago I tried my best to balance school, work, a social life with both friends and family, but it got to be way too much and I found myself very depressed and disgusted with myself because of how I let my GPA fall so far down into the gutter (figuratively, not literally, haha), and so I decided around this time last year that I needed to work on myself, and unfortunately, I cut myself off from a lot of people and social activites/media. If you want to see yourself become successful, you have to dedicate time towards yourself, and work hard for what you want. Those who devour your time are just sucking the life out of you and they're taking time away from your dreams, hopes, and desires. So, unfortunately I had to "drop off the face of the planet" for a few friendships in order to better myself for the my own future.
In the meantime, this will hurt a bit, but in the long run, those who truly want to be a part of my life in the end will hold it out and support me on my journey. Those friends who are willing to wait, I try my best to make time for them during the little breaks I do have, like during spring, summer, or winter breaks, but I feel like friendships are also a two-way street. If I'm willing to dedicate time in my day to text you, shoot you an e-mail, or give you time out of my day, I should expect the same. I'm not going to give you some of my time, just to have you toss it to the side. Friendships, heck, any relationship, takes work and dedication from both parties. If you can't be there for a friend, then you should have the courtesy and respect for them to tell them, "Hey, I'm sorry, I'm just swamped with work right now, can we get a raincheck, or text later?". You, being the person who's asking for a raincheck, better have the courtesy to return that text or call later on, if you care to have that person in your life, because they reached out to you, and if you care enough about them, reach back out to them! The same goes if you are on the opposite side of this example, if someone isn't reaching back out to you, perhaps give the relationship a second thought, is this person worth the one sided effort you keep giving, but not receiving back in return? Personally, I don't have time for that with my busy life and schedule at the moment.
Being a Pre-Professional Biology Major is no freaking joke. It's a legit 24/7 job that I have been working hard on for several years, and it's only going to get harder from here once I reach grad school. I have spent countless nights crying to my mom, my dad, and my boyfriend about how exhausted I am, how I want to give up, and how I don't know if I can do it anymore. Those who believe in me will support me and say that I can keep going, and it gives me a bit of inspiration. Know your worth. Know who will be waiting at the finish line for you once you're done with your journey. Know that you come first before anything or anyone else in this world. As RuPaul always says, "If you don't love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love somebody else, can I get an Amen?"
Wednesday, November 7, 2018
Friday, May 18, 2018
Best Friend Break-Ups
I have been tempted to write this blog post for a few months now, and I was afraid of what kind of response I would receive from it, but honestly, I don't care anymore. I've had several life events happen during these last few months, and I keep dwelling on the topic. However, life is too short, you either live it to it's fullest potential, or you don't, and I want to make the most out of my life while I'm here on this planet.
A few months ago I had a friendship breakup/fallout/whatever you want to call it, with a best friend who meant a lot to me. I've had several of these throughout the years, but this one has hurt the most because I was the one who broke it off. I won't go into much detail about the friendship because I would like to keep that private. We had a fantastic friendship for a few years there, but we both evolved and we grew into different individuals than when our best friendship first started, thus causing us to go off in our own separate ways. I will admit that I probably could gone about the breakup in a different way, but unfortunately, that is in the past now.
Over time, the fact that I had to let go of this friendship hurt me because I was wondering if it was the right thing to do. The individual contacted me and told me how I had hurt them, and I understand, but our friendship became toxic and wasn't the healthiest thing for me in my life anymore, and I explained that to them. I would like to think that they understood what I was saying, but I know I can never take that hurt away from either one of us. However, I know the good memories I do have of that friend will last me for a lifetime, just like any of the other memories of friendships I have had fallouts with.
Honestly, I wish there was a source on the internet during this time that said it was okay, and maybe there is, but I couldn't seem to find it. So, I am writing this blog post to say that it is 100% okay to breakup with a best friend. It hurts, definitely, but breakups usually do, and if you think it is what is best for your life at that moment in time, then do it. I have been a happier person since then, and I have been able to focus on myself a lot more. My grades have greatly improved in school, and in my other relationships as well! I have been able to reconnect with a great friend that I've had for many years, and I love that we have been able to "rekindle" our friendship!
I guess, the purpose of this blog post is essentially, don't regret doing what you think is the right thing to do for yourself in your own life. If there is something you view as a negative entity in your life, one that you believe is pulling you down, then remove it. Life is extremely short, and we don't know how long we will be here for, so you have to make the most of it. During these past few months I was in a car accident, and it helped me have a little bit of a wake up call. I did absolutely nothing wrong, and I shouldn't feel guilty or hurt or feel bad about wanting what I want for myself and for my own life. I deserve happiness and I deserve to take control of my life.
I once saw a photo that said, "There are three types of friendship in life. Friends for a reason, some for a season, and others for a lifetime." I would like to call this friend a friend for a reason. They helped me through growing pains out of high school, and I will never forget what they have done for me. They have taught me a lesson about myself, and I am extremely grateful for that. If they are reading this, they know who they are, and I would just like to thank them.
A few months ago I had a friendship breakup/fallout/whatever you want to call it, with a best friend who meant a lot to me. I've had several of these throughout the years, but this one has hurt the most because I was the one who broke it off. I won't go into much detail about the friendship because I would like to keep that private. We had a fantastic friendship for a few years there, but we both evolved and we grew into different individuals than when our best friendship first started, thus causing us to go off in our own separate ways. I will admit that I probably could gone about the breakup in a different way, but unfortunately, that is in the past now.
Over time, the fact that I had to let go of this friendship hurt me because I was wondering if it was the right thing to do. The individual contacted me and told me how I had hurt them, and I understand, but our friendship became toxic and wasn't the healthiest thing for me in my life anymore, and I explained that to them. I would like to think that they understood what I was saying, but I know I can never take that hurt away from either one of us. However, I know the good memories I do have of that friend will last me for a lifetime, just like any of the other memories of friendships I have had fallouts with.
Honestly, I wish there was a source on the internet during this time that said it was okay, and maybe there is, but I couldn't seem to find it. So, I am writing this blog post to say that it is 100% okay to breakup with a best friend. It hurts, definitely, but breakups usually do, and if you think it is what is best for your life at that moment in time, then do it. I have been a happier person since then, and I have been able to focus on myself a lot more. My grades have greatly improved in school, and in my other relationships as well! I have been able to reconnect with a great friend that I've had for many years, and I love that we have been able to "rekindle" our friendship!
I guess, the purpose of this blog post is essentially, don't regret doing what you think is the right thing to do for yourself in your own life. If there is something you view as a negative entity in your life, one that you believe is pulling you down, then remove it. Life is extremely short, and we don't know how long we will be here for, so you have to make the most of it. During these past few months I was in a car accident, and it helped me have a little bit of a wake up call. I did absolutely nothing wrong, and I shouldn't feel guilty or hurt or feel bad about wanting what I want for myself and for my own life. I deserve happiness and I deserve to take control of my life.
I once saw a photo that said, "There are three types of friendship in life. Friends for a reason, some for a season, and others for a lifetime." I would like to call this friend a friend for a reason. They helped me through growing pains out of high school, and I will never forget what they have done for me. They have taught me a lesson about myself, and I am extremely grateful for that. If they are reading this, they know who they are, and I would just like to thank them.
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